scorpio sting

frame me, oh, to where sadism -
its figurine breaths me, and ruins be recipes
of perfection risen to

what smells like (at first glance) lust,
pulls closer to moisten vengeance of mine.
and you,
have white sheets that have yet to stain.
not made of small. nor for your harvest -
fetch your chipper tongue to last
in me until i finish
past the bed,
onto the floor.

in midnight burning
glory
this gloating body curves
coyly.
but i -
unlike those before, can eat your half attempt
at life
to bits.

In the daylight it's not the same.

#1 Outsider at a dinner party
demonstrate for me, your old, cold, bitter
on the platter - heart wrappings. i soak
up stories from social gatherings,
those which claim to mend the clowns
who keep the faith of love.
pound for pound, and costs are deadly.
gin soaked lips reek heavy, with
skin painted oak.
the tired mouths of women scorned.

and i - entertainer in the middle
circling prey. the chatter of crows
poison in my ear - is this what defeat
looks like. have i fallen deep into widows'
dark. blast words of regret to fuel
a better day?

their mask is my hatred,
their lies are my truth,
someone hands me a drink for torn
seams in my heart. oh good!
it's not the gun i asked for,
but it'll do.


#2 Cocaine September
White angel with a burn.
Heaven, you look a promise to kill.

Flower seeds of wisdom on the bed.
Spread, crevices inside form December -
Snow is light and winter is calling. The dead
Of the city will awaken the blood stream.

Happiness is a piece of puzzle I cut into
Powder.
Body is the present I give to gamble.
Death, fear is just the beginning. I've past that
Sweet aphrodisiac. Now onto symphonies.

There is a white night to my pupils' delight.
Erotic to the senses, a coat of ice
Stops my blinking. There I pause.

What truth in these corners I find-
Icicles gently ripping apart,
Obstructing my breathing.

Nirvana.

#3 The complicated dazzle
One swift tug,
And the plunge of yearning -
Hurdles you could not control -

You do not stand tall to
End the harm.
Not within a mind breeding
Bacteria in your own

Sign your love over, but you will never
Idolize nihilism. Not you, with a spill across
The ocean and the fetish to scold
Through electricity. Bold in fire, tongue
As blades.

You, too much a power for
Nature, will never quite be the silence you
Wish to sleep with.

without sane

frostbite came early today. i spent my morning mourning leftover feelings from the last few weeks. mind trips i've had where i've wanted to leave everyone behind. kick everything out of my life and move to a more empty space. even emptier than it is now. i was up. i was down. i was brimming with energy and 10 minutes later i was ready to cry. i was hanging off a chandelier with barely any strength and i found myself yearning for a shoulder to possibly beat. somewhere at around 9 i took a shower and de-stained. cleansed. now i'm okay. i await the next episode to hit. i'm sure it will.

+ i am wearing the sun today on my shoulders. carrying a bouquet of flowers i ripped from my neighbors garden. i have stolen someone's innocence last night and today i feel like i am finally blooming from my sins.

Two sided little girl

Here we are again. Another time around to pick up all the pieces…all the tiny pieces of her that broke apart. Her heart doesn’t break; her heart is on ice. It is someplace I can’t reach somewhere between the frozen peas and popsicles it waits; waiting for someone worth breaking over. It’s not her heart but her face that crumbles, when she looks at me and asks me why?

All I can do is start gluing the cracks in her perfect face. Maybe I’m just not good enough at putting it back together, because each time the pieces are getting smaller and smaller and harder to find. Because this time the sparkle which is normally located in the upper right hand corner of her pupils has gone missing…and I just cant seem to find it.

It won’t be long now before a new and exciting man strolls into her apartment…her life…her heart. It will start the same -Oh no, were just friends- Dont worry, were just fuck buddies- Yeah were dating, but its casual. But eventually…eventually it’s more. So I will assure her it will work out when she comes to me in tears. And I will tell her they will make a cute couple when she seems insecure. 

I’ll grin and bear it when I hear about how great the sex is. I will sit back and wait hoping for the best even though it kills me. I learn to love them because she loves them. Wanting to hate them but not being able to because they make her happy. Knowing I am just a little girl that could never fulfill or complete her…and maybe it’s masochistic to keep trying…but I guess that’s just the way of things.