(writers block)

A cord to your soul
Stretches as far as the ocean.
Life is for taking.
Crumpled notes lay heavily with fury.
Your virtuoso of deceit. 

Verve on the edge of the earth,
Where pen and paper
Amalgamate with thundering clouds,
With veneration for art. 

From mother Earth’s arms you
Spellbind, sprout
To break loose.
Melody
Lays resting.
Cradles the body
With pureness. 

Guitar strings - a fingerprint on damp wood.
Something to be worshiped, somewhere
Along the crumpled notes awaits a muse. 

Fatigued, a tongue that speaks of many seasons --Capitulated,Fails to bloom.

without sane

frostbite came early today. i spent my morning mourning leftover feelings from the last few weeks. mind trips i've had where i've wanted to leave everyone behind. kick everything out of my life and move to a more empty space. even emptier than it is now. i was up. i was down. i was brimming with energy and 10 minutes later i was ready to cry. i was hanging off a chandelier with barely any strength and i found myself yearning for a shoulder to possibly beat. somewhere at around 9 i took a shower and de-stained. cleansed. now i'm okay. i await the next episode to hit. i'm sure it will.

acid snakes, vodka surprise. i make words bleed on paper -give away easily to the night

eroding at my heart, so many beautiful specimens. i think i loved only 1, but there may have been 2, or 3. they taught me something i thought i could use at the time, but looking back at it - nothing i couldn't find in books. every man i have been with has tried to mold me with his teachings. history, politics, mathematics. all subjects that drain me. i don't want a lover to read me passageways of today's latest economic downfalls. i just want a hug, and hot cocoa. a kiss, and my hand held with his. somehow i always end up the student in an empty classroom taking notes and failing all the tests.

In love with chaos - my warrior heart can bruise for eternity.

Lingering on my legs, scolding my thighs -
ash, bone and filth.
Clasp my fingers to fit yours with pressure at the thought of what you cannot have.
Bend ours together and every bone begins to crack.

You can take my physical.

Spread apart my legs, try to unzip me until you realize there is no life from which you can steal.

To allow a human to take from mine -
I will not.

moving.

I thought about swallowing bleach - but that is a rookie move. It won't kill me so much as it will cleanse me.

+ + + + + + + + + + +  + + + + + + + + + +  + + + + + + + + + + +  + + + + + + + + + + +

Ready to feat upon new fears, and meet again old cretins. Rat sewers, 70's carpet, Russian kitsch. The blinding flickering of the building, in my pupils, the home I lost my mind in. What a home! What years! And now to leave my nest and sip on the finest of life. The best kind. Few crutches, no more handcuffs. Free to think all the thoughts I tidy everyday. Free to run loose. In my dreams, free to act on all the words I battle with.

i am awake, i am defunct. i am. it is. whatever.

thanks to thesaurus.com (link) i am mesmerized by all the different words there are to describe death...or being dead. 
asleep | beret of life | breathless | buried | cadaverous | checked out | cold | cut off | erased | expired | extinct | inanimate | inert | lifeless | liquidated | mortified | offed | perished | reposing | spiritless | stiff | wasted |

etc;
fascinating.