Happiness comes in spurts. Today, my happiness is overflowing and might possibly drown some unsuspecting mother fuckers.

the stars are our ancestors

important >>>>

"I grew up hard and am still hard and I don’t care. I did not choose this face or this body and I have learned to live with it and love it and celebrate it and adorn it with tremendous drawings from the greatest artists in the world and I feel good and powerful like a nation that has never been free and now after many hard won victories is finally fucking free. I am beautiful and I am finally fucking free.

I fly my flag of self-esteem for all those who have been told they were ugly and fat and hurt and shamed and violated and abused for the way they look and told time and time again that they were “different” and therefore unlovable. Come to me and I will tell you and show you how beautiful and loved you are and you will see it and feel it and know it and then look in the mirror and truly believe it. If you are offended by my anger and my might at defending my borders and my people you do not deserve entry into my beloved and magnificent country."

— Margaret Cho

vanity.xxx

"I am Queen of flies.

Swallow the words that fall from my mouth.

It is not enough for me to be immortal:

I am—and of this I boast—universal.

To begin, I want to impose upon you a desire without end, the sensation of being cut in two, deprived of your truth … like the body and its shadow at sunrise. I will make of you strangers to yourselves, avid for fusion, love and copulation. Let me be stared at, let me be gazed at with the sincere and almost melancholy gravity of deep-seated longing. I am dying. 

Weep, my beloved flies." 

---Anne-Lou Steininger, from La maladie d’être mouche (The Sickness of Being a Fly)

"i don’t have to try in the least to shock people. my beliefs are sufficiently shocking to most people. because we live in a culture where passion and sexuality have been replaced by shame. we are miles away from our hearts, our feelings. in Greek mythology the gods were sleeping with the humans all the time. but the Christians claim jesus was fathered without a single drop of sperm. there wasn't even a penis involved. it’s a religion without penetration. and subsequently the same believers take their swords and chop the non-believers to pieces, stab babies to death and burn witches at the stake. and you think i’m shocking when i say i gave god a blowjob? give me a fucking break."

- Tori Amos

thoughts a plenty

Nescis quid sit amor, iuvenis, si ferre recusas immitam dominam coniuqiumque ferum

(you don't know what love is, young man, if you will not bear with an ungentle mistress or a shrewish wife.

Iam mala finissem leto, sed credula vitam spes fovet et fore cras semper ait melius

(i would by now have ended my sufferings by death, but gullible hope encourages me to live, keeps saying that tomorrow will be better

Sit ius liceatque perie poetis: invitum qui servant, idem facit occidenti

(poets should have the right and the power if they choose to destroy themselves. to save a man against his will is as bad as to murder him

Inquum est collapsis manum non porrigere: commune hocius generis humani est

(it is wrong not to stretch out your hand to the fallen: that is common law of the human race

yes, and thensome

“What men mean when they talk about their “crazy” ex-girlfriend is often that she was someone who cried a lot, or texted too often, or had an eating disorder, or wanted too much/too little sex, or generally felt anything beyond the realm of emotionally undemanding agreement. That does not make these women crazy. That makes those women human beings, who have flaws, and emotional weak spots. However, deciding that any behavior that he does not like must be insane– well, that does make a man a jerk. And when men do this on a regular basis, remember that, if you are a woman, you are not the exception. You are not so cool and fabulous and levelheaded that they will totally get where you are coming from when you show emotions other than “pleasant agreement.” When men say “most women are crazy, but not you, you’re so cool” the subtext is not, “I love you, be the mother to my children.” The subtext is “do not step out of line, here.” If you get close enough to the men who say things like this, eventually, you will do something that they do not find pleasant. They will decide you are crazy, because this is something they have already decided about women in general.”

- Lady, You really aren't "crazy"

wisdom for your fancy

"whenever anyone has called me a bitch, i have taken it as a compliment. to me, a bitch is assertive, unapologetic, demanding, intimidating, intelligent, fiercely protective, in control — all very positive attributes. but it’s not supposed to be a compliment, because there’s that stupid double standard: when men are aggressive and dominant, they are admired, but when a woman possesses those same qualities, she is dismissed and called a bitch.

these days, i strive to be a bitch, because not being one sucks. not being a bitch means not having your voice heard. not being a bitch means you agree with all the bullshit. not being a bitch means you don’t appreciate all the other bitches who have come before you. not being a bitch means since eve ate that apple, we will forever have to pay for her bitchiness with complacence, obedience, acceptance, closed eyes, and open legs."

Margaret Cho

still waiting for a natural disaster. or am i one?

"And there will not be left on earth one being who has understood me completely. Some will consider me worse, others, better, than I have been in reality… Some will say: ‘he was a good fellow’; others: ‘a villain.’ And both epithets will be false. After all this, is life worth the trouble? And yet we live — out of curiosity! We expect something new… How absurd, and yet how vexatious!"

Princess Mary, Lermontov.

"sometimes people hurt more than they can handle… and sometimes they don’t know how to ask for help. they’re so caught up in their own pain, they end up hurting everyone around them."

 - Rebecca Donovan, Barely Breathing

“If the world gives you the blues, if you wake up in the middle of the night with waves of fear and senseless panic washing over you, I am your friend. If you’re overcome by desperation that makes your mouth open for a scream that never comes out but just freezes your face in mute despair, then you and I have something in common. If you can’t understand them for the life of you, even though you’ve tried so hard, when that dislocation makes you feel like you’re the only one of your species on the planet, I know I can confide in you. If this endless ghetto of lies and heart break, this life-long run of fences and flickering neon signs, night sweats and suicidal urges make you feel like stopping, just stopping, like stopping breathing, wait. Wait. You don’t have to tell me your name. You don’t have to prove yourself to me. I accept you. If you’re finding life to be the one thing that’s trying to kill you, I want you to stay alive to rise with the sun and fight back.”

- Henry Rollins

He spoke of human solitude, about the intrinsic loneliness of a sophisticated mind, one that is capable of reason and poetry but which grasps at straws when it comes to understanding another, a mind aware of the impossibility of absolute understanding. The difficulty of having a mind that understands that it will always be misunderstood.

Nicole Krauss

I just poured my heart out

There’s bits of it on the floor

And I take what’s left of it and rinse it under cold water

And call him up for more.

Sorry : Maria Mena

How wicked wild to find something that reads familiar.

"Suicide is just a moment. This is how she described it to me. For just a moment, it doesn’t matter that you’ve got people who love you and the sun is shining and there’s a movie coming out this weekend that you’ve been dying to see. It hits you all of a sudden that nothing is ever going to be okay, ever, and you kind of dare yourself. You pick up a knife and press it gently to your skin, you look out a nineteenth-story window and you think, I could just do it. I could just do it. And most of the time, you look at the height and you get scared, or you think about the poor people on the sidewalk below - what if there are kids coming home from school and they have to spend the rest of their lives trying to forget this terrible thing you’re going to make them see? And the moment’s over. You think about how sad it would’ve been if you never got to see that movie, and you look at your dog and wonder who would’ve taken care of her if you had gone. And you go back to normal. But you keep it there in your mind. Even if you never take yourself up on it, it gives you a kind of comfort to know that the day is yours to choose. You tuck it away in your brain like sour candy tucked in your cheek, and the puckering memory it leaves behind, the rough pleasure of running your tongue over its strange terrain, is exactly the same. The day was hers to choose, and perhaps in that treetop moment when she looked down and saw the yard, the world, her life, spread out below her, perhaps she chose to plunge toward it headlong. Perhaps she saw before her a lifetime of walking on the ruined earth and chose instead a single moment in the air."

Carolyn Parkhurst, The Dogs of Babel

I'm just not looking for much human interaction. 

"You must learn how to smile as you kill."

People who gossip to you will mostly likely gossip about you.

(yet another friendly reminder.) 

I would take physical pain over emotional pain anytime of the day.


This - this right here, is indescribable.