You have to be very careful what you say to people. You may talk to them and feel as though you know, but do you really listen?
I wake up, and put on my favorite pair of jeans because they make me feel good. Shoes that I spent $250 on, such comfort for my toes. I do my laundry, and I change my sheets. I clean the house, and I cook. Every morning I put on Earl Gray tea because it soothes my soul. Madonna sings in the background and I strike a pose to Vogue. I will go out dancing with my friends, stumbling around in heels I can barely handle. In touch with my inner glam. I sip on beer and watch a movie I am not interested in to be in the company of someone who strokes my mind the right way. I want that connection that sparks.I go for walks almost every night in neighborhoods that aren't familiar. Adventure feeds. The neighbors know me, their pets sniff me. I just purchased my favorite moisturizer to keep my skin happy. I ended a friendship with a person who didn't deserve my time and effort. I have standards. I lost the love of my life, but I believed it was for the better. I am hopeful for the future. I am saving up money so that one day (hopefully sometime soon) I can visit back home and get lost in translation.
When I say I am trying I mean it. If I wasn't, I wouldn't be around to write all this.
I am trying, in my own way.
I deal with problems in my own way.
I express myself in my own way. Justifying my reasons, or trying to explain to someone who is on the outside is generally a waste of time. I wake up, that's effort enough some days. I cry hysterically and lock myself in my house for a whole weekend if I feel like it. If I want to be out of touch with the world, then I do. It's how I cope some days. It's also how I self destruct some days. I have moments of extreme hatred for every human being. Even ones I am close to. I don't want to see their faces, I don't want to smile, I don't want to talk, I don't want anything. SOME DAYS. But I try.
I have feelings and thoughts I can't always control.
Don't assume anything.
I wake up, and put on my favorite pair of jeans because they make me feel good. Shoes that I spent $250 on, such comfort for my toes. I do my laundry, and I change my sheets. I clean the house, and I cook. Every morning I put on Earl Gray tea because it soothes my soul. Madonna sings in the background and I strike a pose to Vogue. I will go out dancing with my friends, stumbling around in heels I can barely handle. In touch with my inner glam. I sip on beer and watch a movie I am not interested in to be in the company of someone who strokes my mind the right way. I want that connection that sparks.I go for walks almost every night in neighborhoods that aren't familiar. Adventure feeds. The neighbors know me, their pets sniff me. I just purchased my favorite moisturizer to keep my skin happy. I ended a friendship with a person who didn't deserve my time and effort. I have standards. I lost the love of my life, but I believed it was for the better. I am hopeful for the future. I am saving up money so that one day (hopefully sometime soon) I can visit back home and get lost in translation.
When I say I am trying I mean it. If I wasn't, I wouldn't be around to write all this.
I am trying, in my own way.
I deal with problems in my own way.
I express myself in my own way. Justifying my reasons, or trying to explain to someone who is on the outside is generally a waste of time. I wake up, that's effort enough some days. I cry hysterically and lock myself in my house for a whole weekend if I feel like it. If I want to be out of touch with the world, then I do. It's how I cope some days. It's also how I self destruct some days. I have moments of extreme hatred for every human being. Even ones I am close to. I don't want to see their faces, I don't want to smile, I don't want to talk, I don't want anything. SOME DAYS. But I try.
I have feelings and thoughts I can't always control.
Don't assume anything.