This is depressing. This is me.

Hope has given me nothing but disappointment. It has led me nowhere and given me nothing but misery. Hope has given me the impression things will get better. That perhaps tomorrow will be a new day, things will somehow change.

But it never does. It's always the same feeling, the same battle, the war is never won & I am running low on ammo. I keep torturing myself with hope.

Sometimes I think it would be easier to just end it. People talk of heaven and hell. I'll tell you what hell is. Hell is this. Hell is life. It is being a prisoner inside your own mind. It is the feeling of wanting to be free, knowing you can never achieve that freedom. That is hell. At least, this is my hell. Peace comes later. Peace comes after it's all done. Heaven comes when you finally let go.