grandmother's wish

the sweetest of coffee brew feels like a
gentle mind to an insomniac. the lush encompassing
of fragrant berries, and as though i'm wearing
the clouds for drapery.

just last week i had five reasons to die. all of which in the end, kept me
alive. in its trunk bed of paralysis, the hope that carried with
it -
the laughter of my grandmother.

i am floored by her side, in memoriam, to adorn
this womanhood i once saw as burdens, and dance on -
once concrete tiles of revolutions, now, remnants of
the left behind. my duty,
i guess
i have no choice but to
life.

to rest,

there is silence
on you; burning father.
quiet -
on your skins’charm.
fools to paradise, you are remains left to
December’s barren sky,
no matter the season
to swallow. and these are words i learned to
recite.

now i have slit to pieces the last command. of yours, no voice
to hear for a lifetime. who obeys you now?
take to surrender a view of
your wife's treasures, and none you can claim
to have found.

to bury your heart i need my mother's guide. she was your
passports' secret, and i am the first mistake of tyranny
your eyes will never shut.

bits to sew, once more i drag along the road.
silent father -
of passivity, your body of hunchbacks, and tepid
waters.
i am of replicates! and the stench is a fear i
wish to smear.

where do you trance with
words unspoken. how warm of a family did
you crave. to pictures and laugh lines non existent, here i toast.

did you remember my hands building
stories?
your finger on the door bell late for
father’s duty.
to her laughter when exactness
no longer buries,
i toast.

archive familia

once, they were happy.

(can we please focus on my mother's fierce style.)

and somewhere i was resting happy.

(i'm really posting these pictures because my mother is gorgeous. 

my father will remain a 'no comment'

and then i came out. 

and the rest is . . . still a blur.