there are two ways this can all play itself out.
1. either i am in line for the biggest emotional draining since 2009. or
2. i am in a eerie comfortable place that has numbed me to the point of comedy. and from this comes healing.
hilariously, this is maddening. and i have no patience to sit around and wait for results. yet - i have to. of course. they say first it's calm, then it gets louder, and your emotional strength is tested by raging oceans of past guilt, regret, and heartbreak. i think my body, mind, heart, and mouth is exhausted from its own voice. i've mourned long enough and i've thrown temper tantrums the size of my ego. i do hope my calm has finally come.
but tomorrow will tell me for certain.
hilariously, this is maddening. and i have no patience to sit around and wait for results. yet - i have to. of course. they say first it's calm, then it gets louder, and your emotional strength is tested by raging oceans of past guilt, regret, and heartbreak. i think my body, mind, heart, and mouth is exhausted from its own voice. i've mourned long enough and i've thrown temper tantrums the size of my ego. i do hope my calm has finally come.
but tomorrow will tell me for certain.