Conversations with my therapist.

Are these plants real?

Wow this is a really comfy chair. I'm trying to decorate my studio, where did you buy this?

Your eyes are really pretty.

Oh I'm fine, it's okay.

No, I haven't thought about death today.

I did think about it last week.

No I'd rather not talk about it.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know, maybe.

I don't remember.

I'd rather not.

Same time next week?

pile of (a) thought

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People will often tell you to think happy thoughts. Try to think positive, happy. Be happy.

That's the problem. I don't have any happy, positive thoughts. The little glimmer of hope that's stashed away in the back is usually overpowered by the negative. And when I do have hope, it's just one big false advertisement. Because I know what tomorrow will bring. I know that I always revert back. Something is comforting in this depressive state.