11.1.12

3 birds.


Ate a cobweb, birthed a spider. There were moist summer nights where I stumbled through secrets. Opened locks, and caressed the devil's hands. Drew a life plan on windows - slightly cracked. Broke away from chains glistening on lustful skin. Premature, and naive. I gave my knowledge a chance to bloom. Gave my enemies a chance to surrender. My youth I copied on paper, or at least tried. A slab on pavement, I thought my insecurities were beautifully designed. Never did have color in my eyes, so I used theirs to inspire.

Death came on the porch stoop. Grabbed a hold and refused to let go. Got to the age where I was a woman. Not by choice - by the clock's order. My heart, a submissive little mistress - gave in and breathed some life. From oppression a willing host appeared. Your love could have set me on fire. It did, but I never burned. Should have tortured my mind to stop on its feet. Should have, but chose to walk on coal. Took the road taken by all, cared for by no-one. Never did I exist, not until I picked on a blister that turned into a scab, and then a full on infection.

Gave a bird a free trip around the world. Grew her wings with patience, and innocence. Took this bird by my hand, a handicapped outcast. Sculpted her body to fit, contour around mine. She flew with words of yours. Breathed in and lived to moments on purity. Horizons opened their arms with scorching fire, and fellow birds wished to replicate. I saw her veracity and remembered - I never did like to exist. I shot her down.

Always did keep myself at bay. A rat in a maze, you were - waiting for an answer from a wild soul. I shot my baby, she fell on my window pane. How she got so close inside I never knew. How she crept up - loved me under her wings, cared for me. Why did she chose me? I let her stay for a minute, a minute too long. That day she came back to life - I remember her feathers in ruin. When the rain came down it washed her stains. She was my symbol of what could live again.

Used to take walks to clear the words leftover from midday mania. Close my eyes and sleep away every hour - for at least an hour. Everyday I let you in a little deeper. Until you held me up, proper like a doll. Daylight was kind to me with you on the side. I shot my baby down, but you were mine. A resurrection of what lay on the window pane. What a laugh of love that bird I let fly again.

The mind blocking any light or human form. Smoke from my mouth - standing still. Your bird was mine to kill. The room is frenzied with colors of the sky. Colors of the night, black for too long. Blessed the hand that brings curses to heal. Now only a shadow of what a girl used to be. Unattainable, the sky laughs with misery.