I said I was kicking him out of my life, and I am. I swear, I am! But I cannot help my thoughts. I would vomit out every single feeling and image I have of him from my brain and my heart if I knew how to. am an addict. Just one thought back to the past and I am enveloped in his body. Those sleep deprived, half lit eyes that only come to life when his ego is properly stroked. That stupid hair of his that never styles right.
It is almost impossible to go from lover to friend in under 60 seconds. We are not machines. Every form of communication is dangerous, it leads to naked bodies and regrets. Every time he calls or I see him, I vision slurps, and kisses, and things I am trying to stop visioning. I don't want to rid of him completely, but I can't move on when we are still in contact. It isn't fair. Everything is a tease, everything is foreplay.