he was a cranium
he was a deity
he was damaged sex i never got to try on my body.
splinters, blisters; i have from harshness i ran straight into,
impeccable lifeline; yours i give back to the dead.
intimacy, chloroform; i imagine you an animal in ruins.
i should have bleached your mouth from playing
tricks with words you couldn't hold,
but i couldn't even get inside your heart.
you said you made space for me, but i think i was more
a validation for your masculinity.

he was a year of seduction,
a personal myth,
creaking and breaking through the
cracks, crawling up my walls
to store his own past.
you denied me space in your presence, you could not give me
distance either.
in the end, i killed us to preserve myself.