therapy sessions

this is fear and lust coexisting with one another.
my body turmoils in its own concoction of destruction.
i will cry and lie for 10 minutes exactly.
one minute extra and it spoils the therapy.
too many monotonous noises condescending in the room.
my own voice
it remains silent,
but i'm as loud inside as i want to be.  

when the last tear falls
and my body is wild in exhaust,
when control loses at minute 9 and lets out a gasp -
i cover my mouth in fear.  

I've gone too far.  

freeze in my bones.  

I've said too much.