pulverize

Tiger print eyes. An animal searches for his conquest. His name resonates, shakes down the walls with fever, melting the paint right onto the bed. Melting our wounds. I watch as they coexist so beautifully. Gently comfort each other. Sick, beautiful little cells. And when he puts his hands on my neck it's the greatest feeling - one where I am fleeing from myself. His lips dangle presents. Ready to slap down my commands with one of the many weapons I bow down to.

We met 3 times. Once for a kiss. Once to fuck. The last for the paper cut.

Insides stinging sometimes. It's okay I say. This is how it's supposed to be right? To learn - I become the puppet, and my master commands. Sometimes he forgets his dominant role, but I always bring him back. Always the willing patient. I created his persona and I will do whatever it takes to keep it mine. I need it to remind me I am alive.

A knock on the door. Sweet eyes, brown eyes. My eyes search for his, but I am too intense. I know it. I make myself uncomfortable. We're locked in an embrace for what seems like seconds, but my mind would have you believe it's longer. Hours. Hours and days, and weeks, and 3 years counting.

Absence chills me with fear, dresses me with fixation. He's unnatural, I'm misunderstood. I blame his existence, his love, his penetration. The way he entered so quietly, marking his presence. I blame him, but realize it's me that needs the cure. The future speaks boldly so I tread carefully. He'll tread with me, quietly. I've got him where he thinks he wants to be. Maybe I'm good. Maybe he's better.

Mimic me, flowers are frail, like the hands that loved, yet too weak to hold. The seasons changed, and so did my love. Summer nights are burning with fallen trees of ruby, and emerald. Leaves sweet, sweet like those eyes, sweet like our bed once was.

I still hear from him occasionally.
I still remember his body.
His conquest.
I was perfect with temptation. I was lust.
He was a craving. I fed.